Current song obsession: Love Me Not by Ravyn Lenae
Remember a post I made a while (okay, a long time) ago where I mentioned burnout can really kick your ass?
Yeah. That.
I wish I could tell you I’m a perfect person who never struggles, but alas, I’m a constant work in progress (much like my manuscripts ;)). However, I’m sincerely grateful for those of you who don’t give up on me. You mean the world to me, dear readers. More than I could ever put into accurate words.
Now, I’ve kept my patrons up to date on what’s going on with me, why I’ve been absent from social media and didn’t get to publish my contemporary romance, Clashing, last year like I planned, but it’s well past time I update everyone else.
First off, I’m never really gone. Even if I don’t post on social media (so sue me, I’m TERRIBLE at it), I’m still here. You can see that because I’ve been posting consistently on Patreon even with my quietness, and I always will. So if you ever have questions, don’t be shy about DMing me. I do try to respond, though I will warn you that if I don’t recognize your name/haven’t seen you like a post or comment, I sometimes don’t open those DM’s, especially if they have pictures attached. Not because I don’t want to hear from you, but because I’ve been burned by a few too many unsolicited genitalia pics and it’s made me weary of opening DMs from names I don’t recognize. But if I see your name come up a lot, I’ll always open your DM requests.
Now to the reason for quietness.
I was supposed to release Clashing as a published physical book this past year and I did not manage to reach that goal, and for that I’m sincerely, wholly sorry. I know a lot of people were looking forward to it and I was too! I still am. This last year just kind of kicked my ass.
There were several factors that had an impact on Clashing not making it to publication. Part of it was severe burnout. Publishing IASAD honestly, as much as I’m SO happy I did and SO happy to have the book out there! was still a LOT of work. It was so many new things to learn, so many things I had to handle by myself and I think I tried to do too much all at once. I also feel I rushed through the editing and I did not want that to happen again. But beyond that, it honestly wouldn’t have happened last year because 2024 was just one of those one hit after another kind of years. I spent the last 3 months of 2023 and the first 3 months of 2024 playing caretaker for my husband after a serious injury while also trying to maintain my jobs and my seven pets and my household. I run two businesses completely on my own, this one and a photography one. Maintaining both of those is usually doable but on top of playing caretaker while my husband recovered from surgery, and therefore having basically all our normally divided household and pet responsibilities on my shoulders, it made the beginning of the year nearly impossible for me to do editing through. I just didn’t have enough hours in the day, even by cutting myself short on sleep.
Luckily, that more or less balanced out as of April, but by then I felt so far behind. I tried very hard to get back into my groove and edit while working, but then I got hit with problems at my day job, which is connected to my photography business. After being in a gallery for five years, I had the unfortunate experience of losing people I thought were friends, and losing the gallery I’d made my home. As of the end of August, I had to say goodbye to that gallery and that not only impacted me mentally, but financially. If I’m honest, I should’ve gotten myself out of that situation a long time ago but I kept foolishly hoping the people who were causing problems and running the business into the ground would gain some brain cells, but that never happened and now a business that’s been here for over twenty years is likely to fail all because of ego. Luckily, I am now in a much better gallery with fantastic, encouraging artists! I’ve never been surrounded by a sweeter group of creatives and I’m so happy to be there.
However, with all the insanity that happened with the gallery abruptly changing business models without proper communication, along with harassment I put up with for over a year from another person there, I already wasn’t making enough money from that last year. Not as much as I usually do. Then after I left at the end of August, I lost that income almost entirely, which brings me to the last reason I didn’t manage to get Clashing published.
Unfortunately, publishing isn’t free. I pay for editors, copywriters/proofreaders, in some cases sensitivity readers, and that’s just for the words without the formatting, book cover, upfront costs for printing and packaging, goodies, and marketing. I had been setting aside money to pay for it all like I did with IASAD, but between basically losing my day job and my husband’s major surgery, I ended up having to take from that reserve to get by. So there you go. I’m really sorry I didn’t discuss any of this sooner but I kept tricking myself into thinking ah, I just need this ONE thing to work out and then I can still deliver and get it published, there’s still hope! But unfortunately 2024 was just not the year for things to work out. It’s okay though, because 2025 IS.
Again, I’m really sorry I didn’t deliver on publishing Clashing last year. I never want to promise you something I don’t then give. I hope you can understand a lot of it was out of my hands but I am still very sorry because there were things I could’ve done better and as a book lover myself, it sucks when an author has to push back publication! Of course I understand it happens but it still sucks, you know? So I’m sorry. And for what it’s worth, I understand your pain. I so badly want the books published as much as you do, which brings me to an important note.
Clashing IS being published this year! I’ve been working with my editor and the manuscript is almost ready to be handed to the proof-reader. I’ll let you know a specific date after I speak with my cover designer and the artist I commissioned for character art, but I’m aiming for an August release, which means I’ll be looking for ARC readers soon! I’ll let you all know when I have that form ready so you can sign up and read the very much new and improved Clashing!
Some of you might be wondering what about it is new? First off, my old writing has never seemed older to me than it does now. I initially wrote Clashing almost five years ago, and it shows. Which is partially a good thing, right? Because I can see I’ve grown as an author, but ooof! The cringe I cringed at my old writing! Needless to say, I spent A LOT of time rewriting, but don’t let that worry you because it’s overall the same! Scarlett is still sassy, Ryker is still a brooding biker, Dan is still the dad we all wished we had, but the words taking you on their journey are much more eloquent and polished. If you felt a lot for Ryker and Scarlett before, buckle up because the published version includes a bonus chapter not posted anywhere, a slight change in major plot points that deliver a much more satisfying ending, and more defined resolutions between characters. It’s definitely still the same story, just improved. Significantly improved. I canNOT wait for you all to read this version!
Now, publishing once taught me a lot that I couldn’t learn even from hours of researching to figure out how to do everything publishing right. Spoiler alert, I didn’t do everything right. However, the experience taught me what to do better next time and I feel a lot more confident in the plans I have for this release now having experienced it once. I suppose that’s life, huh? You learn and you grow and you keep improving where you can. All that to say, I’m very excited to tell you that I have an artist lined up to create a spicy scene from Clashing, one that won the vote in a Patreon poll. I can’t wait for her to get started and finish so I can share it with you all.
I intend to do more special boxes with signed books like I did before. If you have suggestions of goodies you prefer in your book boxes, please do let me know! I’m still deciding on a few things, though there will definitely be a bookmark, some stickers, possibly a pin or two and the item I’m still trying to decide on? That’s where I could use your input. Because Scarlett and Ryker’s art is going to be spicy and I’d like to know where you prefer that displayed. As an art print, or a vellum overlay? I’m open to hearing from you!
(I also lowkey considered trying to get plushies made of Ryker’s dogs, Grayson and Demon, but that would be pricey so I’ll only pursue that if I have enough interest).
So that’s where we’re at for publishing news. If you’re interested in Patreon news…
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the Elder Series is almost over. We’re on the last book of the series. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions which I’m sure will only grow more intense the closer we get to the ending. We’ve lived in this universe for FIVE years. It’s almost unfathomable to say goodbye, but I refuse to think about the end, so instead I’ll focus on what’s coming next.
Dragon Riders. Last year, I started a series of one-shots in a universe of dragon riders. If you haven’t picked up on it yet, I’ve always been a fantasy girly at heart and dragons are the love of my life. I’ve wanted to write a dragon series since I was a child and now that’s finally going to happen! The Dragon Rider series will start after Elder Series ends (I’m not crying, you’re crying), and I’m hoping the plunge into a new world of magic, romance, and found family will distract us from the pain of saying goodbye to our other series.
That’s all I have for now. I can’t thank you enough for your patience and rest assured, my next updates will be more regular. If you’re not on my newsletter, I highly recommend you join it because I’ll be doing some giveaways exclusive to the newsletter. You can sign up here!