I’m officially in that stage of counting down the seconds until “I Accidentally Summoned a Demon” releases. I can’t believe it’s less than a month away. I can’t believe I’m actually publishing a freaking book. I realize at this point it may seem silly to you all that I keep saying it’s surreal, but I can’t help it. It really is. If the child version of myself could see me now, she’d bawl her eyes out.

I’m sure if you’ve ever been interested in anything in arts, you probably have been discouraged from making a career out of it. I definitely was. My mom was always supportive of me going after arts, but not everyone was and despite being a true honest to god through and through artist, I never even considered the possibility of turning anything in the arts into a career.

Let’s all collectively laugh because I’m now a fine art photographer and about to be a published author.

The truth is, I’ve always been an artist in some way. An artist trapped inside a practical girl’s brain. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t as logical as I am, but I unfortunately can’t turn it off. Logic and practicality are instinct for me and so when it comes to taking risks (like publishing a book on my own or putting myself out there through my work), I usually don’t. I mean, I do when it comes to other things. I’m an absolute adrenaline junkie (cue my sweet but scared-of-heights-not-very-adventurous husband having mild panic attacks while I stand on ledges and climb up cliff-faces for pictures). But when it comes to careers, I’ve always been of the mind I needed to do something I knew would work out. When I was in school, I had to study what would make me financially stable, I had to pursue jobs that were practical, I had to do xyz because that was the formula to place me in a stable place (sorry, I fell asleep thinking how boring that was. Anyway…). Part of that was definitely discouragement of pursuing a career in the arts (“You can’t do that, you have to actually be good” [said to me after I’d been accepted into a school for music for piano], “do you have any idea how many people try to do that and don’t get anywhere? You’ll be homeless in three months”, “no one takes art seriously, it’s not something you can make real money off of”). Ngl, some of my doubt definitely came from discouragement of even considering the idea. But also, maybe part of that comes from growing up in a low-income house. I watched the struggles that went with a job with fluctuating salary and decided I didn’t want to be in that position when it was my turn to pay the bills. I wanted to have a stable, reliable income with a stable, reliable job and I was convinced that was the key to winning at life.

It wasn’t. I pursued accounting jobs not because I enjoyed accounting (I don’t. I fucking hate it so much), but because I’m naturally good with numbers. Math comes easy to me (I mean, until we get into Calculus 2 in which case, bye. I’m okay. I don’t need to know more), and so I thought “there we go! That’s practical and logical and something I’m good at. People will always need accounting so there’s my key to success”. I wouldn’t call it success. I definitely wouldn’t when I worked a desk job that sucked the life, hope and happiness out of my soul for four years, only to have my bosses consistently fail to do their job and make mine more difficult. Only to have more work piled on and not get paid even half of what I was worth meanwhile they lied to their employees and said they couldn’t afford to pay them more, all while asking me to give them obscene raises every few months. Only to help make the business incredibly successful all while never getting a decent raise or even close to what I should’ve been paid for how much I did. Working with men who were incapable of calling me by my name but instead called me things like “chicky” and when I was treated like shit and blamed for things that I had nothing to do with, was told to let it be “water under the bridge” because the boss’s male ego was so fragile it would crack if he was corrected. Only to have even more shitty people put in charge above me when I worked way harder. Then have them tell me I had to put up with it because it was my boss’s family (*cough cough* you mean nepotism) who was now above me telling me what to do meanwhile they couldn’t even handle something simple as having a credit card because these adult grown men with families somehow don’t know what responsibility means? Yeah, I wouldn’t call it success. I was a hamster stuck in a hamster wheel, doing endless circles and hating every moment of it.

Alas, money is necessary so I had to bite my tongue until I could find new stability. The second I had an opportunity to get out of that job, I did. Hope came in the form of my passion and love for photography catching someone’s eye. After dismissing the idea I could ever do anything in arts, it never occurred to me to take my work farther. It never occurred to me anyone would actually want my photos in their home or office. Why would they? They were pictures I took for fun, photos I took because I love nature and exploring and I find photography to be so fucking cool because we live in a world that happens so fast, photography stills one moment forever that will never exist again.

But then I was approached by someone working in a gallery. She liked what she saw, gave me some pointers on how to improve, and it wasn’t many months after I had one of the coolest moments of my life, when the gallery called to tell me they’d accepted my application to join. Then came the next coolest moment where I got to witness people enjoying my work, buying it, then sending me pictures of it hanging in their home. I’m not sure there’s every been anything that’s ever made me cry from happiness more than seeing people put things I made in their space. As a person that is particular about my space, knowing anything I created was going into someone else’s was just the most incredible feeling in the world. It still is. I’ve been in the gallery for 3.5 years, and I still get giddy when someone calls to let me know I need to replace something on my wall because it was just sold.

Now, I know people have asked me to share some of my work before. I’ve always hesitated because despite me writing to you all the time, I’m shy. Painfully shy. I keep everything to myself but you guys have given me the most incredible opportunity to publish a book (my oldest and biggest dream), I’ve decided to come out of my shell just a little and at least give you a taste. I do landscape, but my one true love is wildlife photography.

It’s not National Geographic level, I know, but hey, there’s still time to improve and get there 😉

Now, I know I’ve been pretty absent on blog posts. It’s not because I don’t want to share with you but because everything has been crazy. Publishing a book is a lot of work, especially when you’re publishing yourself. Thankfully, some of the stress has eased with my awesome PA, Gabby helping me on social media. I’d be losing my mind without that girl’s help, you’ve no idea. She even helped me name characters the other day when I messaged her in a panic like “what names have I not already used??? I write too much!” I’m grateful to say, she didn’t bat an eye, just started sending me name after name until one finally hit right. Friends like this are invaluable. Readers like you are invaluable. I just feel so lucky and humbled to even have this opportunity when I know so many people have the same dream I do. A lot of people want to publish, but not everyone is lucky enough to have an audience and encouragement from readers prior to publishing. Every time I think about it, I tear up a little. I wasn’t supposed to make it in the arts. My writing was always intended to sit on my computer and be for my eyes only, but holy shit this is so much better. This is a million times better. I hope you all know the weight of significance you hold in my life, because it really is huge. I love and appreciate all of you.

Also, I hope you’re all happy. I’ve recently been hit with new idea after new idea and I’m drowning in all the writing I wish I had more time to do. I credit you all for leaving me the best comments and boosting my confidence. It boosts my creative confidence too, which just means even more stories for you and I both. I’m so excited for my current and upcoming books. Upcoming, I’ve flooded Cookie Fix with interactions I’m completely swooning over (I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Amato is quickly climbing to the top of favorite male character I’ve written. For those of you not on Patreon, Cookie Fix is a series of one shots I’m turning into a book after I finish writing the current one. It’s a dark romance with the MMC as a vigilante of sorts and the FMC is a total cinnamon roll autistic baker who owns her own bakery). Then of course we have the much anticipated mxm romance between Dean and Xavier (Elder series). You are not ready for how hot Dean is and how freaking adorable Xavier is. Just sayin’. Besides that, I have two different series ideas for after the Elder series is complete, one of which is fantasy romance, the other is… hmm, I honestly don’t know what genre I’d put it in. Maybe paranormal? Paranormal urban fantasy? Is that a thing? We’ll just say yes.

It’s not just series ideas I’m getting. I also have several standalone ideas. For some reason, fantasy and darker romance has been my focus, along with a couple sports romance (if you’re on Patreon, Tutoring the Devil is on an endless cycle of new ideas in my head rn. It’s a nerdy girl with football player college romance). For the two major fantasy ideas I have, both are villain love interest, one where the woman is and one where the guy is. I cannot properly express how freaking excited I am for those ideas. I don’t know, maybe the upcoming publication is also getting my creative juice flowing because it really has been a little out of control.

Oh yeah, the upcoming publication. Excuse me a moment. I must hyperventilate.

… Okay, I’m back, but I’m not promising it won’t happen again. 24 days left, loves. Twenty-fucking-four days and the book I wrote will be available for anyone to buy.


Don’t forget if you want a signed copy or pre-order box (includes a signed copy), they’re only available for three more days. Cut off is January 23rd so if you’re planning to get one, keep that in mind.

Thank you, darlings. You’re all my muses and favorite people <3

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